


The First And Last Girl

by officialarrow



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, And also Oliver is smart, F/M, Nerdy Oliver, Where Oliver is the shy guy and Felicity is the popular girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-10 04:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4377215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/officialarrow/pseuds/officialarrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver Queen was just another guy that no one really paid attention to, especially not the popular girl Felicity Smoak. When a girl suddenly decides to sleep with him, it opens up a new chapter in his life. More and more girls show up at his door, and he grows more and more popular. For a long time, the secret to why all those girls kept showing up would stay hidden in his bedroom. However, not even his new popularity could catch the attention of Felicity Smoak.<br/>As Oliver experiences that all the girls still won't fill the hole he has, he learns a simple truth: The abundance of girls could never erase his affection of Felicity Smoak, the unobtainable girl next door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Type

_Oliver_

What happens when you sleep with a fair amount of girls on the cheerleading team? Or, more accurately, when you sleep with a fair amount of girls on this school? In Oliver’s case, one thing happened. And it happened every time he slept with a new girl. They all came back for more, and new girls kept coming.

It wasn’t like he treated girls badly and took advantage of them. No, he respected girls, and they just kept coming to him.

When the first girl wanted to sleep with him, he was surprised. Sure, he’d been happy that she chose to sleep with _him_ , but he didn’t quite understand it. Maybe it was because he was good looking, but he wasn’t on the football team or any other team, and he wasn’t really good with girls. He was smart, though. He could get an A easily on tests, because those things went by easy for him. He’d always been smart, without really trying.

The first girl came after the homecoming dance last year. She had dragged him out of the dance and started kissing him. McKenna Hall, his first cheerleader. She was beautiful, and he was sort of awkward and nerdy, but he didn’t want to ask any questions when he had that chance. He had taken her to his house, because whenever his parents weren’t downstairs in the living room fighting, they were at work. Both of them had very busy work lives, so he often had the house to himself.

After the first unexplainable phenomenon, another cheerleader came to his house one evening. This was the thing he didn’t understand, because he didn’t really have any social status on school, and the cheerleaders more than often chose the guys who were at the top. But when the second girl came to his house, he wanted some answers.

The thing was, he did enjoy every girl, but they were not the ones he wanted.

He wanted the girl next door. He always had.

Felicity Smoak was her name, and she was perfect in every way. He could never get her attention though. She was smart too, but she was more popular than him. The classic girl-next-door crush, that was what he had. She seemed nice, at least from the times he had seen her get into her car before school. However, that was about it.

He knew she was nice, because his friend Dig, John Diggle, was once seated beside her in English class last year. She was also his first crush. Back in middle school he had shared his first kiss with her. It was an innocent kiss, a kiss you wouldn’t think back on and count as your first kiss, but still. He had liked her ever since that.

His social status changed drastically after a few girls had slept with him, because the information got out through the girls talking to each other about him, and soon enough everyone on school knew. He instantly became more popular. However, that didn’t change the fact that Felicity never looked at him, or when she did she would always give him an angry look. He hadn’t really talked to her, ever, but still she looked at him like she hated him.

Maybe she thought he was using all those girls, but he kept trying to ask them out and go on dates. None of them wanted anything but sex, which confused him because he couldn’t imagine that he was so skilled at it. However, they came back and more kept coming so it had to be some reason.

 

“I don’t understand why you get so many girls, you probably have STDs by now.” Dig chuckled, as he ate his spaghetti. The cafeteria was packed with people, and they were at their usual table, everyone kind of sneaking a peek at Oliver now and then, and then whispering something. He wasn’t blind, he knew people talked about him. Perhaps they talked bad things about him, and maybe some of it was good. He didn’t care. He chose to not care what they thought about him. Maybe some of them were jealous, and maybe some of them were wondering why they kept coming to them. He knew why, after a year of girls coming to him, he had asked them and they had answered.

“No man, I’ve told you. Girls talk, and they know I’m always covered.” He ate his sandwich and looked around. On one of the tables in the cafeteria he could see Felicity. She was eating fruit and talking to her friends. He looked at her, and she looked really pretty. She caught his stare, and for the first time she didn’t look angry at him, she just stared. Her eyes didn’t look mean and they didn’t look like they were judging him.

“Man, you have all those girls coming at you and you still stare at her?” Dig slapped him jokingly on the cheek, and he snapped out of the gaze.

“Yeah but none of those girls actually want to date me.” He continued eating as Dig laughed and shook his head.

“You know how many guys would want that? It’s perfect!” Dig continued eating as Oliver looked at him.

“You know Dig, I’m not like that. I would like an actual relationship with someone, although, I can’t complain. You know the other day I was with Becca, and she blew my mind…” Dig threw spaghetti at him, and he glared at him.

“I don’t want to hear about your nasty skinny-dude-with-a-hot-girl-sex!”

“I’m not that skinny!”

“Maybe not, but compared to me…”

“If you compare everyone to you, most of these guys would be skinny.”

“I’m telling you dude, you need to join the football team this year. And eat your food, dammit, you need to gain muscles.” Oliver took a huge bite of his sandwich. It might be true that he was a bit skinny, but not compared to most of these guys at their school. He wasn’t as muscled as Dig, but he did have muscles.

“I’m not joining the football team, you know I hate football.” Dig groaned in disappointment, grabbed his sandwich and pressed it into Oliver’s mouth. Oliver protested through it. When he finished eating it he glared at Dig.

“Dick.” He muttered low as he started on his second sandwich.

Suddenly someone sat down beside him in rush. He looked to the side only to find Tommy Merlyn looking at him.

“Do you want something Merlyn?” He looked at him questioningly.

“Dude, I need your help!” He looked desperate at he grabbed Oliver’s arm. He freed his arm from Tommy’s grasp and scowled at him.

“You need _my_ help?” He was a bit shocked, but also he didn’t really like Merlyn because they used to be friends when they were little, but now he was just sort of a tool.

“Yeah dude, you gotta tell me what you do to those girls.” Oliver couldn’t help but laugh as he heard Tommy whisper those words. Tommy Merlyn, _Tommy Merlyn_ , needed his help. It felt like a joke.

“Excuse me? You want me to tell you how to have sex?” Both him and Dig laughed loudly.

“No, I know how to have sex! I just need you to tell me how the hell you manage to get _all those girls_. You need to tell me your secret. What is it? Magic dick?” He laughed even more before he shook it off and stared Tommy in the eyes.

“Okay, let me give you some sore needed information.”

 

Oliver was sitting home in his room playing the guitar when he heard the doorbell ring. He put away the guitar as he rushed down the stairs and to the front door. When he opened it he saw Felicity standing outside.

“Felicity?” Oliver sounded confused, which was what he was.

“Can I just please come inside, my parents are fighting like crazy and I just can’t be in that house right now.” She sounded a bit stressed, and he noticed her hands clutching her arms as if she was freezing.

“Sure, come on in.” He opened up the door to her and let her in. She walked inside and stopped in the hallway that divided the living room and the kitchen. She looked like she didn’t know where to go.

“Where are your parents?”

“Both are at work, although where they probably should be is seeing a marriage counselor.” She nodded as if she understood.

“Your parents too, huh?” He nodded and led her upstairs to his room. He turned around when he was in his room, and saw her hesitate to come inside.

“What, are you scared of my room? Don’t worry, there’s no monsters under the bed.” He smiled at her, but she was frowning and looking at his bed.

“I’m not here to sleep with you if that’s what you are thinking.” He laughed and she looked at him.

“I figured.” She looked at him with a frown.

“Why?”

“You don’t exactly look at me like you want to have sex with me.” She cocked her head and crossed her arms.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Uh, judging the way you are looking at me it’s like you hate me.” She laughed a bit and walked inside his room. She had this insanely hot way of walking. It was like it’s own thing, and it wouldn’t necessarily be looked upon as sexy.

“I don’t hate you Oliver.” He smiled at her in relief. She smiled back.

“Well, that’s a relief.”

“It’s just that when I see you with those girls, I get mad because I don’t like the way you treat them.” He looked at her confused.

“I don’t treat them badly, Felicity. If you think I take advantage, it’s the other way around.” She looked sort of surprised.

“But why would…” It was like she realized what she was saying, and just shut up. He laughed a bit.

“Why would they want to take advantage of me? Don’t worry, I get it, it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.” He sat down in a chair with and picked up his guitar. He started randomly playing chords while she looked at him.

“Why do they come to you?” He cocked his head, his expression somewhat surprised.

“Judging by the way information travels through you girls, I would expect that you knew.”

“No, they talk about it, but I never pay attention.” He got a little confused. Why wouldn’t she pay attention, since she was so curious now?

“There is a secret that most guys never think about, at least most of them. It’s a secret that I figured out with the first girl.”

“And what is that?” He stopped playing the guitar and looked up at her.

“The secret is… I prioritize their pleasure before mine.” She got confused.

“What?”

“If you think about it, most guys are looking for sex to _have sex._ They put their own pleasure before the girl’s. The first girl that showed up, I realized pretty soon that she only wanted to be paid attention to and to have someone prioritize her. When I did that, more kept coming. Every girl that has showed up on that doorstep just wants to be thought of first.”

She looked like she was in shock. At the same time she looked impressed.

“Wow, that’s…” She stopped and started thinking. “But you don’t get… _anything out of it_?”

“Sure I do, once you set them before yourself they want to do the same to you. Most of them do, anyway.”

“Oliver, that’s… That is actually pretty great. I just thought you had…”

“A magical dick?” She laughed and he laughed too. For a moment, she looked at him while laughing, and he felt something he had never felt for any of those other girls that had walked into his room.

“Maybe, or you know, you can be really cute when you’re just yourself. Many girls just have to forget about social status, and they find out that the perfect guy isn’t the guy with the best muscles or the best status. It’s the shy guy.” He smiled at her. She looked away, sort of embarrassed, and then she frowned and shook her head. “You know Oliver, I don’t really want to be with you. You might seem like that cute guy, but once you’ve had a taste at the life of a girl-magnet it’s hard to go back. I don’t judge you for that. However, when half of your friends have either slept with you or thought about it, then you start thinking.” It was like a punch in his chest. He hadn’t expected anything else; however hearing it was something else.

“I understand.” He said with a low voice. “I never expected you to be with someone like me, I don’t deserve you.” She looked like she felt bad for him, but he didn’t want her to feel bad. Sometimes you want people, and sometimes they don’t want you. It happens, and you just have to keep going. He could understand her and he could get over it.

“I should go.” She said after a while. He nodded and followed her to the door.

“Well, thanks for having me here, even if it was only for a while.” She smiled at him.

“Anytime.” He smiled back. She turned around and walked over to her house, occasionally looking back at him.

There she went, the first and last girl he wanted.


	2. Next To Me

_Oliver_

When the morning came, it felt like a sad story. The rain was crashing against his window, and his desire to go to school dropped below the line. Either way, he had to get to school. He looked out the window towards Felicity’s house. He could barely see her brushing her hair in her room from his window. He snapped out of the gaze and got downstairs. His father was sleeping over the dining room table with stacks of paper spread under him. He was holding a yellow marker in one hand and the other was pointing at some paper as he slept with his mouth open. Oliver shook his head. Both of his parents were lawyers, which meant that they loved arguing. They loved arguing probably more than they loved each other. No, scratch that, they _definitely_ loved arguing more than they loved each other. They always argued whenever they both were home, which usually was at the same time. Deep down he knew that his parent’s behavior towards each other had built some sort of fear of relationships. Even though he did want a relationship, some part of him believed that the reason that no girls had become more was because he would act on that fear inside him. How could he want a relationship when his parents’ was so messed up? He did want one, though, but maybe he acted as though he wasn’t really interested whenever girls were around.

He decided to let his dad sleep, because that was something he needed. He ate a bowl of cereal and grabbed lunch money from his sleeping dad. He got in his car and started driving when he saw Felicity getting out of her car in the pouring rain. She looked stressed, so he pulled over at her house and rolled down the window.

“Need a ride?” He looked at the now soaked Felicity. She looked at him with a look of disappointment, sort of. She didn’t look satisfied.

“Can I change first?” She pointed at her soaked clothes and he nodded. He waited in the car and watched the rain crash against the windshield. There wasn’t anything good to say about this weather. In Starling there was usually rainy days, but nothing near this. He figured global warming had to play a part in the extreme weather nowadays. He looked over to her house and saw her running down the driveway and to his car with an umbrella over her. When she reached the car she hurried inside, and he drove off immediately.

“Gee, thanks for waiting for me to get inside.” She let out a breath and stared out the window as she mumbled.

“Sorry, but we don’t exactly have much time before school starts. And I wanted you to hurry so that the inside of the car won’t get soaked.” He stared at the road ahead of him, but the heavy rain made it harder than usual to see ahead.

“Whatever, just drive.” He held back a comment about him doing just that, because maybe she didn’t want to be pushed today.

“You look nice today.” He decided to break the silence as they took a right turn.

“Which outfit? The one I _was_ wearing or the one I am wearing now?” He laughed a quick laugh because not only did she now look at him with disgust, she also spoke to him like that. He didn’t take offense by it, because he could clearly see past her struggle to act like that towards him. It clearly wasn’t the way she was used to act. Which was what made it so funny to him. There had to be some reason behind it.

“I mean you just look good. Doesn’t really matter which outfit you’re wearing.” She looked at him, and for the first time today her eyes weren’t scowling at him. They were looking at him in a mild shock, of sorts. However, it ended right as it started.

“Please stop it, you’re sounding like a creep.” He nodded as he laughed.

“I was being friendly. You know, it’s what friends do.”

“We’re not friends!”

“Alright then.” He laughed. Her face turned confused.

“Most people would have stopped when I said that.”

“Well, if I intend to become friends with you then I wouldn’t really start with dropping you off on the side of the road in this much rain.” She nodded slightly, as if she had understood his point.

They kept driving in silence, while the rain fell heavily. She kept staring out the window, as if looking over at him was a sin. Her eyes were focused in the same angle.

When he pulled over at their school and parked, she couldn’t have gotten out of the car faster. She muttered a “thanks” before she was running through the rain with her umbrella over her head. Her light steps were sweeping over the parking lot and her bag was swaying from her shoulder. He kept staring at her running figure until she was gone inside the school. He grabbed his backpack and ran over the parking lot the same way she had gone. He was inside not long after, his hair sticking to his face. He brought a hand up and wiped the hair up from his face. His coat was soaked, and he almost looked like he had been swimming.

“Dude, seriously, you get that wet when you see me?” Dig brought his arm around his neck and pulled him towards him. He was powerless against that muscled guy, so he had no chance of actually freeing himself. He did struggle, though. Every time.

“You wish.” He was able to push himself away from Dig after a lot of struggle. “Please stop doing that.” He pleaded.

“Never, brother, you’re stuck with me.” He let out a sigh as they walked down the hallways to his locker. He spotted Tommy talking to Laurel who wasn’t even paying attention. She was looking in every direction, and when her eyes met Oliver’s, she smiled. It wasn’t a great smile, not really. It was a smile that meant she had a plan. It wasn’t to greet him or to just smile at him, it was clearly a smile with a hidden agenda. He stopped by his locker and got his books out. He had just taken his soaked coat inside his locker when he heard someone approaching behind him. He looked to his left and saw Tommy.

“I saw that.” He said, his voice was furious.

“Tommy, I have no idea what you are talking about.” He spoke with a calm voice, but Tommy’s eyes were still raging with fire.

“You have no idea? You think I can’t see who Laurel’s looking at when I’m talking to her?” Oliver couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. This was too ridiculous.

“Tommy, if you think she’s going to dump you for me, dump her. I’m not going to sleep with her if that’s what you want, but please, do not keep her if you think there is a slight chance she isn’t treating you right.” His expression changed into relief. He smiled slightly before letting out a sigh.

“Thank god, man.” Oliver rolled his eyes. He had clearly not been paying attention.

“Yeah, whatever.” He closed his locker and joined Dig down the hallway to their classroom.

 

At lunch he met Dig again, who had just had football practice and brought along Ronnie and Roy who were his teammates. They were all right. Dig had a plate of disgusting pizza from the school cafeteria, while Oliver had prepared for that and had made himself some sandwiches.

“Dude, what’s up with those sandwiches? I’m telling you, this pizza is killing it today.” Ronnie took a huge bite of his slice and made an intended sexual sound.

“Yeah, I keep telling myself that, but each time they disappoint me. Plus, you guys have been working out, and everything taste good after working out.” They all made an agreeing nod as they ate their pizza. Oliver didn’t mind the sandwiches; they were with cheese, ham and lettuce. They tasted pretty good. He spotted Felicity a few tables away. She was eating her usual fruit and laughing at Caitlin making a joke. She caught his eyes, but this time her smile never faded even though she was looking him in the eyes for a long time. That had never happened.

“Dude, can you please stop staring at her? Get your skinny butt over there and ask her out.” Dig slapped some of his hair and Oliver looked at him.

“Can’t do that. She told me she didn’t want to be with me.” They all laughed.

“Why did she tell you that?” Oliver raised his shoulders. He shook his head as he ate another bite of his sandwich.

“She has her reasons. Even though I have had a crush on her since forever, I’m just going to focus on the girls that actually wants me…” Dig slapped him on the head this time. “Ouch, what the fuck Dig?”

“Come on, please don’t tell me you’re that stupid? You tell us you have a crush on this girl, and that she doesn’t want you, which is probably because you sleep with the whole school. Dude, it’s pretty obvious.” Oliver looked at Dig confused.

“I don’t…?”

“If you want her to want you, you can’t go around sleeping with every other girl! You can’t go on with this when you have a crush _on her._ Idiot.” Ronnie and Roy laughed as Dig took a huge bite of his pizza slice.

Fuck. He was probably right.

 

The day went by as any other day: way too slow. The last period couldn’t have been longer. He kept tapping his pencil as he stared at the clock. Time just wouldn’t pass. When the day finally ended, he got into his car. He was about to drive when someone tapped on his window. It was still raining, so he waited until the person opened the door to see who it was. When it opened, he saw Felicity standing outside.

“Got room for a friend?” She actually smiled half a smile.

“A friend? I thought we weren’t friends?” She looked at him and smiled an apologetic smile.

“I was acting like a bitch earlier today, sorry about that. Yes, we are friends. I believe friends are the ones who will rescue you with compassion as your parents fight so hard that the house is literarily unsafe, and the ones who rescue you on a rainy morning when your car isn’t working.” She smiled at him, and he felt warm inside him.

“Well, I don’t really have room for a friend.” He paused with a smile and saw the disappointment rush over her face. “However, I’ll always have room for you.” Her face lighted up and she sat down in his car.

They talked during the drive home, and it didn’t feel like there was a wall between them like there had been before. He noticed the necklace in her hands, and after a while she put it down next to her on the seat as she was explaining something with her hands. He didn’t really remember everything they were talking about later that day. He only remembered how she looked when she talked. Her eyes always looked away when she was talking, and when she had gotten her point she would look into his eyes.

After he dropped her off and parked in his driveway, he noticed the necklace. She had forgotten it in the seat. He watched her open the door to her house, and before he had any chance to get out and call at her she disappeared into her house. He decided to keep the little bracelet; it was a silver arrow pendant. He thought that if he kept it until tomorrow, he’d have a reason to talk to her. He went inside his house and found his parents arguing in the living room. They were shouting at each other about his father’s boat, which his mom thought that he spent too much time talking about. As if they ever talked about anything else other than arguing to each other.

The day went on, and after a while he grabbed some dinner with him upstairs while his parents were arguing by the dinner table. He ate it while listening to some music. The rain had stopped outside, only a few drops were falling down occasionally. He could spot Felicity doing some homework in her room across in her house.

When the evening was approaching, he felt the disappointment of another day where a girl hadn’t called him. He looked over at her house and decided on something.

He grabbed the pendant and ran downstairs and past the now empty living room (they had left for work). He ran towards her house and to the side facing their house. There was a huge tree standing there that was tall enough to climb to her room. He slowly grabbed a branch and launched himself upwards. The climbing was hard, and he had the pendant in his hand the whole time so it was even harder. It took a long time, branch after branch.  When he had almost reached her window, he smiled at his triumph. There was only one more branch. He grabbed it, and when he pulled himself upwards he felt the branch giving out. He quickly launched himself towards the tree.

The quick action sent his body forward, and while he did succeed in staying in the tree, the force of the launch sent his forehead straight into the tree. He let out a cry and his hold on the tree slipped. He felt himself fall downwards with a grasp. When he hit the ground, the pain sored through him.

“Fuck!” He yelled loudly. His vision was blurry, but he could make out the window of her room being opened. His ears were ringing, but he could hear a voice. The pain was hitting him again and again, and he grasped for air, as the ringing in his ear wouldn’t stop.

“Oh my God, Oliver!” He heard Felicity approaching him.

“’Flicity?” He couldn’t get her whole name out.

“Are you okay?” He opened his eyes and stared right into hers. His vision was clearer now.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He tried propping himself up on his arms, but then a gruesome pain shot through his right arm.

“Fuck!” He groaned as he slumped onto the ground again.

“Your arm is hurt, and you might have a concussion.”  He opened his eyes again, and she was now so close to his face that he could feel her breath on him. She was looking at his forehead.

“Last time we were this close we kissed.” He felt himself laugh a cracked laugh as she rolled her eyes.

“Let me take you inside and clean that.” She stood up and looked at him. “Oliver what were you doing climbing my window?” He held up the pendant, which was still in his left hand. She smiled and shook her head. He helped him up and brought him inside her house.

“Here, sit down.” He sat down on the couch as she went into the bathroom. He laid his head back and felt the massive headache he was feeling. She came out a few seconds later with a first-aid kit. She saw down beside him and looked at the wound on his forehead.

“It doesn’t look too deep, probably just okay if we clean it for now and then take you to the hospital.”

“Hospital? No, no just clean it. I’ll be fine.” He shrugged and shook his aching head. He felt something weird build inside him, and the nausea came quickly. He acted on instinct. He launched up and ran into the bathroom and then everything just came out. He stayed by the toilet as he felt the pressure in his head make his ears ringing again.

“Okay, if I’m not mistaken, that is another sign you have shown of concussion. I’m taking you to the hospital. Are your parents home?” He washed his mouth in the sink and got out of the bathroom towards her.

“No, they both left a while ago.” She thought for a while and then looked at him as he sat down.

“Okay, then give me your keys.” He reached into his pockets and gave her the keys.

She helped him to his car and they started driving.

This time they drove in silence. Only the sound of the car could be heard. He noticed how her hand was slightly shaking and holding onto the wheel. She looked nervous as she drove.

He had trouble getting a clear vision of her. He kept looking at her, and he didn’t need his vision to see it clearly. He could see it even now, perhaps clearer than ever. He also knew it so clearly, even with a potential concussion.

She was sitting next to him, and she was so beautiful.


	3. Moments

_Oliver_

 

The doctor appeared through the door with a needle and something that looked like sowing supplies. Felicity was sitting in a chair next to the bed.

“Okay, so you had a distal radius fracture in your wrist, so we put a cast there. The pain and swelling you were experiencing were only normal to this type of fracture. We’ll have a look at your wrist in 4 weeks to check if the bones have healed properly.” She started to place some equipment on a small table beside the bed.

“So I’ll have the cast for 4 weeks?” She nodded. “What are those for?” Oliver pointed with his good arm at the equipment.

“The cut on your forehead is a bit deeper than it seems, so we’ll have to sow it up. Don’t worry, it only needs about three stitches.” She prepared a needle, and Oliver let out a shaky breath. “I’ll give you some advice kid, next time you’re going to visit your girlfriend, try not to climb a tree. Use the front door.” Felicity let out a choked sound.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just my idiot neighbor.” She giggled a bit before he gave her a look.

“Well, may I ask what you were doing climbing that tree this late?” The doctor was cleaning the needle as she spoke.

“I was going to give her a necklace that she forgot, and I didn’t want to knock so I just climbed the tree. I used to do it when I was a kid, but I guess I’m not that skilled anymore.” The doctor put her hand above his wound. He winced and she smiled a bit.

“Clearly.” She took the needle and aimed it at his forehead. He winced as he saw the needle. “Just try to relax, Mr. Queen. You’ll hardly feel it.” Her words weren’t very reassuring.

“I’m not a big fan needles.” He closed his eyes shut and tried to not think about the needle she would be sticking in his cut at any moment. He wasn’t very successful. Then he felt a hand on his hand. It felt warm, and even though he had his eyes closed, he knew it was Felicity’s. The hand was soft and warm, and her thumb stroked the front of his hand. A hand guided his head to the side and he opened his eyes and looked at Felicity. Her eyes were focused on his, even though he knew she was struggling not looking at his forehead. He couldn’t feel anything there, even though he noticed a hand there. He figured she was sowing, but he didn’t mind. Her hand was enough to make him not care, and her gentle strokes with her thumb were like some reassuring words. He looked into her eyes, and he smiled. He smiled because even though she didn’t quite like him yesterday, she was sitting here next to him. It was late, and she could have called his parents and let them take him. Instead she took him herself and waited by his side here. His parents were on their way, but she still stayed by his side.

“There, all done. You’ll need to be back in a week to remove them. The cut isn’t too deep, so shouldn’t take that long.” She put a bandage on his forehead, and then his parents arrived.

“Oh my God, Oliver! Are you alright sweetie?” His mom rushed to his bed and he felt Felicity let go of his hand.

“Mr. and Mrs. Queen, your son had a distal radius fracture in his right arm, so we put a cast on that he’ll have to wear for 4 weeks. He also hit his head in the fall, and there was a cut that we had to suture, and he’ll have to be back in a week to remove them. He also has a mild concussion, so he won’t be allowed to drive in the next 24 hours just to be safe.” His mom looked just as worried as she had been before the doctor had started speaking.

“Robert, if you hadn’t been so eager to get early to work, you could have prevented this! Oh my sweet boy…” Felicity stood up so that his mom could sit down next to him. He propped himself up from the bed and waved his mom off him.

“My fault? I’m sorry, but you should get down your high horse. You weren’t supposed to be at work today!” His mom shot him a look that he could only describe as his mom’s ‘killer-look’.

“Mom! Dad! Shut up! It wasn’t either of your fault, it was mine. It’s getting pretty late, and I’m sure someone else needs this room more than we do so let’s just get going, please?” He looked at the doctor for approval, and she nodded. “I’ll go with Felicity, you can sort everything out.” With a disappointed look on his face, he followed Felicity out the room and out of the hospital. They got in her car, and he noticed she wasn’t starting the car.

“What?” He looked at her with questioning eyes.

“Are you okay? You looked sort of upset in there.” She eyed him, looking at the cast and the bandage on his forehead.

“I’m fine.” He closed his eyes and let out a breath. She still wasn’t starting the car, so he looked at her again. Her eyes were telling him that she knew it was bullshit. “Fine, I’m just upset that even when I’m in an accident, my parents can make it all about their fighting. It’s all they ever do. They barely speak to me.”

“Sorry.” She said, and then she started the car and drove away from the hospital. “My parents don’t even bother to fight.” She said after a while. “They just push it under the rug, and after a while it explodes. That’s what happened the other day, one of their many bombs finally exploded. Then it exploded on me, and they started to include me in their fighting, like they were already splitting up.” They drove in silence the rest of the way. His head was aching and his arm wasn’t doing him any favors either. He felt exhausted, like he was going to fall asleep at any moment. She parked at his house and hugged him goodbye, and she helped him unlock the house before leaving him. He took off his clothes so that he was only wearing his boxer briefs, and got into bed. Sleep had never come faster than it did that night.

 

“Sweetie? Are you feeling good enough to go to school, or do you want to stay home?” His mother woke him up from his sleep, and he felt the pain in his head, but he didn’t want to stay home when there was a chance his parents would too.

“No, I’m fine.” He got up and searched for a clean shirt as his mother walked out. He went with a white t-shirt and a light blue shirt. He had difficulties putting them on, but not nearly as much as he did when he was showering before putting them on. He had to have his hand with the cast out of the shower the entire time, which made it very difficult.

He got out of his house when he remembered he couldn’t drive.

“Fuck.” He barely got out the words before he saw Felicity walking towards him.

“This situation is quite good if you think about it. You need someone to drive you and I need a car to drive in.” She smiled and he handed her his keys.

They drove in silence for most of the ride, until Felicity broke the silence.

“So, are you going to the party tonight?” She continued looking at the road as she drove.

“What party?” He looked over at her, but she kept her eyes on the road ahead.

“Oh, you haven’t heard. Well, Tommy is throwing this party tonight, and you know he’s basically just a rich douchebag, so Iris is throwing a party too. The only people that will be there are the ones who won’t go to Tommy’s party.”

“Sounds like the right party for me. I’m in.”  He could see her smile, and he looked out the window.

“God, I hope Tommy and his crew won’t find out about it.”

“And with crew, you mean Laurel?” He looked over at her and now she was looking at him too.

“I’m not exactly a fan of hers.”  When she took a turn to the left, she went a bit rough and the tires screeched.

“I can tell. Look, I don’t like her either. She’s been trying to get my attention for ages, but I’m not going there.” He could see her grip on the wheel tightening. He figured it had to be because she didn’t like Laurel. She turned in on the school parking lot and parked at the spot they parked in the previous day. She got out of the car and waited until he had gotten out, which took longer than usual since his right arm had a cast and he had to use his left.

“So I guess I’ll see you later then?” He closed the door as she spoke and he turned to her and looked at her. She wasn’t as cheerful as she had been earlier, and now it was like she was bearing something that was weighing her down.

“Yeah.” He slung his backpack over his shoulder.

“I could drive us, if you want.” He nodded.

“Sure, I mean it’s not like I have any other way of getting there. Besides, I’ve never been to Iris’ house…” He paused thinking for a short while. “Oh wait, I’m mistaken.”

“Oh come on!” She turned around and walked towards the school, leaving Oliver with a confused expression. His thoughts were interrupted by something reminding of a rock hitting his shoulder.

“Ouch, fuck.” He turned around and saw Dig. Of course, it was his fist. Basically, it was a rock.

“What the fuck, dude? What is that?” He pointed at the cast.

“It’s a cast, Dig. Remember, you had one in fourth grade.” He ducked another ‘playful’ hit from Dig and started walking towards the school.

“Yeah, but what happened dude?”

“I’ll tell you in lunch.”

 

Later that day he got prepared for his first real party. He had tagged along on some of Dig’s Friday afternoons drinking beer, but never a party-party. He didn’t quite care for beer much, though. He did want to try something more interesting to see if that was better. When it came to alcohol he had been careful, but he admitted he was curious. He put on one of his fancier blue shirts and some expensive jeans his mom had gotten him that he didn’t much care for, but for rare occasions he did like to have something a bit nicer. He styled his hair nicer than usual, and now everything was pulled backwards so nothing was hanging on his face. He looked like one of those rich boys, although not entirely since he wasn’t wearing ridiculously expensive Ralph Lauren sweaters over his shirt, for example. He noticed he had gotten a bit of stubble too, but even though his mom was very strict with him about shaving, she was too busy dealing with work right now to even notice. He decided it was a nice change, and didn’t shave.

Felicity rang the doorbell, and he felt relieved that both of his parents were at work. He opened his door and saw her. She was wearing a bit more make-up on than usual, but she looked beautiful. He thought about how she looked like without make-up, and that he would probably like that even more.

“You look beautiful.” The words got out before he could think of it. He noticed she blushed a bit and smiled at him.

“Thanks, you look good too. I like your hair like that.” He smiled, and was happy with himself for trying something new. They drove for a while before finally stopping by a house. It was a fancy white painted house, and he instantly remembered it.

“Oh man, I’ve been here alright. Iris didn’t tell you?” He saw Felicity look at him and then hit him playfully on the arm.

“Shut up, man-whore.” She laughed as she got out of the car.

“So, since you’ve got a cast, I’ll give you this Friday to drink. When you’ve got your cast off, we can make another arrangements. I’ll drive.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, whatever. You probably haven’t been drinking much before anyways.” They walked together towards the house. They could hear music from inside, and when they got to the door it was instantly opened by a slightly drunk Iris.

“Felicity! So glad you could come!” She hugged Felicity and then looked at Oliver. She got a sly smile on her, and then she launched herself towards Oliver, who was barely able to catch her in time. She pressed her mouth against his. He was caught by surprise, and the taste of alcohol on her breath. He decided to kiss her back a bit, before she let go and smiled at him.

“Fuck, Oliver. You’re amazing at that. Felicity, I got to tell you this guy is amazing. Everything you’ve heard is true. God, if I haven’t passed out by the end of the night, you’re coming upstairs with me. Come on and get in!” She ran inside, and he barely caught the surprised look Felicity had before she entered the house. He followed after her, and he got into the living room where a bunch of people was sitting. Dig was there, and he cheered when he saw Oliver and ran up to something that looked like a bar and mixed something in a cup. He handed it to Oliver a minute later.

“What’s this?” He smelled it. It smelled like Red Bull and something entirely else.

“Trust me on this, it’s great.” He hesitated first, but then he remembered he wanted to try some new stuff so he drank it.

It tasted like Red Bull, but a lot stronger. His throat burned like never before and even after he could feel it burning in his stomach. He coughed a bit, and then looked at Dig.

“That’s amazing.” He could feel himself getting more hyped after only drinking about half, and he liked the feel and taste of it even though it burned.

Dig laughed with him and they made their way to where everyone was sitting. The conversations turned into a wild cheer as Iris took shots with Barry, her best friend. Then after a while the cheer faded into toned down conversations. He felt like it was easier to talk to everyone, and it kept getting easier the more drinks Dig put in his hands.

“Hey everyone!” He suddenly shouted without realizing it. “I just need to say something.” Everyone looked at him, and most of them were either laughing cheerfully or smiling. He could see Felicity sitting beside Iris. His eyes were on her the entire time.

“Look, when this year is over, we won’t be remembering everything that happened. We won’t remember the classes, and we won’t remember the football practices or the games you played. We’ll remember these moments. The moments you spent with great people talking about everything and drinking. Maybe some of you won’t remember this tomorrow if you drink too much, but I’ll pray that I won’t do that because this is something I want to remember when I look back.” He raised his cup. “To right now, and to us.” Everyone cheered and clicked their cups together. He could see Felicity smiling at him. Her smile made the room go in slow motion. Stuff was happening around him, but he only saw her. Her smile. He got up and walked outside to get some air. He sat down on their front steps right outside.

“Great speech.” Felicity sat down beside him. He looked up at her.

“Thanks.” His words were a bit sluggish, but he was able to speak understandably. He noticed how close she was sitting to him. Her arms were clutching her legs and her head was resting on them facing him. Her eyes were like the ocean, and in this light they were sparkling like stars. They were probably the most beautiful things he had seen, except from her.

Suddenly she leaned in closer to him with her face. Their faces were so close he could feel her breath on him. He felt the electricity burning inside him. It was something he hadn’t felt with any of the girls he had slept with. He wanted to crash his mouth to hers and taste her. He wanted to be selfish with her, even if it sounded really bad. Then he remembered the way this was happening, and quickly faced away from her. He looked at her, and she saw she was slightly hurt and surprised.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“No, it’s okay. I just don’t want it to be happening like this. I want to, _God I really want to_ , but not like this.” She nodded slightly hurt in agreement. She stood up and lingered for a while before she disappeared inside. He could hear someone approaching a minute later.

“Felicity I already told you…” He turned his head and saw Iris standing there. “Oh Iris, sorry.” She sat down beside him.

“It’s okay. I’m here.” She leant in and crushed her lips with his. She tasted like even more alcohol now, but it was like something that made her taste even better now. He heard someone approaching behind them and let go.

“Oh my God, you don’t want to kiss me, and then you go kiss _her_?” Felicity’s hurt voice filled his ears. She disappeared into the house again.

Fuck, he thought. The thing was, he hadn’t felt that spark with Iris.

He had only ever felt it with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this was inspired after this weekend when I was at my first party (maybe second or third, but this was like more of a party-party than I have been on before, but I have experienced slightly with alcohol..:) heh). Don't judge, I'm 17 and I know I'm underage (with one year here in Norway), but I'm a big believer of doing stupid and reckless stuff that I'll remember. So, underage drinking is a part of that. I had a great time, however, when my friend started feeling sick we decided to go home, which was okay with me because I wanted to be careful since my parents were home this time. Then when he had gotten a ride home to her, she started puking and it was gross. I put her to bed, and then her mom came home right before I was getting picked up by my dad. Yeah, I think she got busted. I got away with it, and it was an interesting experience, even though my friend was the one who got to party more than me. I decided to take it easy, and I'm glad I didn't do like she did because I really hate puking.


	4. Us And Them

_Oliver_

 

Even though Monday came way too fast as usual, his thoughts never left Friday night. He felt incredibly guilty about it, even though it had been a complete misunderstanding. As he lay in bed the night before Monday, he remembered what had happened after Iris had kissed him:

_“Oh my God, you don’t want to kiss me, and then you go kiss her?” Felicity’s hurt voice filled his ears. She disappeared into the house again._

_“Felicity!” Oliver’s drunken words echoed after her as the door hung open after her. Iris seemed to not having understood anything of what had just happened, and kept kissing his neck and laughing. She must have been really drunk at that point._

_“Iris, I’m sorry but I have to go talk to Felicity. I think you should start making some better decisions by the way.” He left Iris laughing hard and rolling on the ground. His head was a bit cloudy and he felt as if he couldn’t walk like he usually did. He felt pain in his arm even though it didn’t make any sense for it to be hurting right now. He managed to get up the stairs and down the hallway to the bathroom and found Felicity sitting in the bathtub. She was leaning her head against the wall and her eyes were closed. There weren’t any water in the bathtub, so he sat down on the opposite side._

_“I’m sorry Felicity.” She didn’t look at him, she only stared into what seemed like nothing. “I didn’t even want to kiss her, you have to believe me. She kissed me, not the other way around. Please, I didn’t mean for you to get hurt I really did want to kiss you but not like that. I wanted it to be when I could really mean it and when I’m not a drunken idiot.” She looked at him with glassy eyes._

_“You didn’t want to kiss me Oliver.” He frowned as she stared at him. He shook his head in disapproval. “It’s true. Or maybe you did, but everything you’re saying right now is bullshit.” He stared into her eyes without getting any words out._

_“What? That’s not true. I wanted it to be special, because I’ve wanted to kiss you since you moved in next to me.”_

_“Well, we did kiss once.” She laughed a bit through the tears, a laugh that did not resemble her usual one. It sounded more sad and forced._

_“Doesn’t really count. It was a small peck on the lips because Iris made you do it in a dare.”_

_“Still, in my head it counts.” It went quiet for a while, and the change of tone in their conversation surprised them both._

_“Felicity I’ve been in love with you since I met you.” Her eyes looked into his, and he was surprised that she didn’t look more surprised by it. “All I want is for us to be together, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”_

_“No it’s not.”_

_“Yes it is!”_

_“No, Oliver it’s not. Please stop saying that it is because that is just bullshit! You clearly don’t want that. You say you want to be with me, and that you love me, but then you’ve never acted on it. And don’t give me that ‘I was shy’ or ‘I never got the courage' because you're not shy Oliver. Not really. You sleep with girls on a regular basis and you never have any problems with that. A shy person would have.” He thought about what she had said. “So it all comes down to what you really want, doesn’t it? You want what all guys want from girls. You want what your friend John wants and even what Tommy wants: sex. That is what you want, because you’ve established this way of life that is better than you first imagined. You want to believe you’re not one of those guys because you’ve spent such a long time hating them but it is still true about you. You want sex, and you want it with many girls. That is why you didn’t break off the kiss with Iris. It was because you actually wanted that.”_

_Oliver felt his eyes watering. The truth hurt more than he thought was possible._

_“You know, before you started sleeping with all those girls, I really liked you. I was going to ask you at the prom if you wanted to do something, but then I saw you kissing McKenna. After that I heard you started sleeping with everyone, and it hurt. So I decided to forget about you, and that was until now.” Once again the truth stung him in the chest.  
 She smiled at him and leaned over, placing a kiss on his forehead. Then she got up and out of the tub, looking at him one more time before disappearing through the door. He sat there a long time thinking about what she had said to him. Was it true? Did he not really love her? Had he mistaken love with sexual attraction because he was simply used to that? It felt wrong thinking about any of this._

_When he got out of the house, he noticed the car was gone. He walked all the way home that night, thinking about stuff that was so difficult to either agree to or disagree to._


	5. Lost And Found

_Oliver_

As the year went by, Oliver tried to keep a distance from Felicity. He wanted her to feel like she wasn’t obligated to talk to him or even be with him. He wanted her to make her own decisions, and not having to have an impact on them. He’d see her from time to time, walking about in the hallways or eating her lunch in the cafeteria. He’d steal a few glances from time to time too. She was doing pretty great, he’d always see her smile and laugh. He hoped one day that they would patch up their friendship, but he had a full understanding that maybe the time for that would be far away.

One of the last days of their senior year he was eating in the cafeteria with John, and he was really appreciating these last days that would fill up with the lasts he’d remember.

“So, summer is almost here. You thinking ‘bout patching things up with Blondie?” John was eating a slice of pizza and just beside them Ronnie and Roy were having a heated argument about who had the better girlfriend. They even threw spaghetti at each other. All for fun, of course.

“I don’t know. I mean, I miss her and all, but I don’t think she needs me in her life.” He took a bite of his sandwich as John snorted and continued eating.

“Yeah, you’re kind of a whore you know.” Everyone at the table heard it, and they instantly started laughing.

“For your information, I haven’t slept with anyone since I started talking to Felicity last year.” John looked up at him with questioning eyes.

“What?” He looked confused. “You’re telling me it’s almost been a year since you got laid?” Oliver nodded as he ate his sandwich. “Why?”

He thought for a good while before he answered. “They won’t ever love me, and they won’t give me anything in return. That’s not me, Dig. It can’t be.” John looked at him with a confused look. Clearly his growth through the year had gone unnoticed by his best friend.

“That’s great, man.” His answer shocked everyone on the table, but they swept it all under the rug and kept eating.

 

_Felicity Smoak_

As the last day of senior year arrived, Felicity kept thinking about the last time she spoke to Oliver. She had been harsh, and there had been so many nights where she had wanted to just go over to his house and tell him that she was wrong. She knew better, and she knew she was right. She had resisted the urge she got to go over there and hug him. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted that kiss he had been talking about doing right. She missed him so much, but she needed to stay on her ground. She knew it was important, because if not then every part of their possible relationship would just be wrong. So when she found the letter that day, she had never felt more pulled towards him.

 

_“_ _First of all, you should assume that everything I say in this letter is most likely true, and whether you have the real scientific answer, well, that is irrelevant. So to start off, I am truly sorry for the person I've been. I guess after a while we all stare at a person who looks like ourselves but isn't remotely us. I have been cheated and I have cheated. It's relevant to my life, because sometimes being cheated on doesn't really mean a person who you are in a relationship has secretly been having another relationship behind your back. No, in this case it means being fooled of some sorts. I have been fooled to think that people wanted to sleep with me because they liked me. Then I found out that it wasn't the case here, so I fooled myself to think it was okay and that it didn't matter. As long as I'd get to fuck girls, right? No. In this case it also resembles a lot to lying. Lying is when you tell someone something that isn’t true when you could have told the truth instead. Let’s go to one of the biggest lies that has ever been told. I think it’s one of the lies you often tell yourself: I Am Who I’ve Always Been. Which is probably the dumbest thing you can tell yourself or others. To assume that you will forever be just one person is just simply not true. Which, you do (and if not then should) know. It would be like comparing your life to a rock. Are you a rock standing still in the same place forever? No! You are in constant change. You are not a rock, you are not a person who is always in one place never having communicated with another person. Because that is one important difference: we communicate. The reason of the change in ourselves does come a lot from communicating with others. People around you change you so much. An old friend should not be mad at you for changing, because if you have been their friend for 7 years, then all the cells in your body has been replaced. You are a completely different person. You don’t have the same body that you did, and you do not have the same mind that you used to have. Thus making you into a new person. Changing is a part of what makes nature leap forward, and it is the reason to why our relationships with others leap forward. Sometimes that relationship grows into more or becomes heightened, and sometimes it dies. Whatever happens, I hope you don’t blame it on the other person changing. Because either way, you changed too. I’m not trying to ask for forgiveness for anything, I’m not sure that I need forgiveness from most people really. I’m not asking for apologies. I’m asking for everyone to simply understand that what I did I did because I took the easy way out, and I didn’t realize that in doing that I hurt people too. I hope everyone can start understanding each other, and not only see their side while keeping the other side on a blind eye._

_Thank you for reading this and hopefully take my advice on understanding. I know this is crap. No one knows more than me. I’m sorry for that, and I’m sorry for mistaking attraction for love._

_-Oliver.”_

With shaking breath she read the last line over and over. Everyone had gotten this letter, but still the last line was clearly intended for her. So after the graduation ceremony later that day, she went over to his house. She could hear his parents arguing, albeit a lot more quietly than usual. She rang the doorbell, and his father opened up.

“Hello, Felicity.” He looked tired, but then again he usually did.

“Hello Mr. Queen, is Oliver home?” She hated herself for this, for giving in, but she couldn’t not talk to him anymore.

“No, I’m sorry. He and his friend John just went on a road trip for the summer. You just missed him.” She nodded and politely said goodbye as she walked towards her house. This was good, she thought. She was never supposed to talk to him. That was their end, she thought, the night in the bathtub. She felt the ache in her chest as she started to get ready for the graduation party later that night.

Strangely enough, she was wrong…

 

_14 years later_

Felicity was walking down the streets of Starling City after having moved back.

“Yes, mom. I will come visit, but it’s just that the suburbs are far away and I’m used to the city. Besides, I have work right now mom. Hey, mom, stop worrying I’m fine.” She was interrupted. “Yes, mom, I know I’m 32 and single. Don’t… Mom, _don’t_ bring up Ray. I told you, we wanted different things. Please, you know my career has always come first. Ray shared that thought, but he didn’t think marriage and kids and that was necessary when you have a job and own a bunch of fancy stuff… No, mom I can’t _talk him_ into it. Stop it, _I’m hanging up the phone now_!” Her recent breakup with Ray Palmer, a brilliant man who shared an intelligence level with her, yet not the same vision for their futures. They broke up two days before, because Felicity didn’t want to stand still in a relationship where nothing happened. So, when she had shared the news with her mother, she didn’t exactly… _meet the news with enthusiasm._

Just as she was texting her mom that maybe in a week she would be free to visit, a man bumped into her. The force sent her body down to the ground, and she landed on her butt.

“Ouch.” She blurted out. The man was tall with broad shoulders, and wearing an expensive suit. He had a thick beard making his face look stern, and his eyes… Holy shit. She recognized those eyes. “Oliver?” He looked so grown up, and he had definitely grown a lot since she last saw him. He looked like a man.

“Felicity Smoak.” He looked at her with a smile. “God, how long has it been?”

“Quite some time, look at you. What happened?” She could barely spot a long scar running up his neck.

“How about we go for coffee, and I’ll tell you all about it?” She nodded and followed him down to a Starbucks.

“So, you look good. You look fancy. You must be doing well for yourself.” Oliver was speaking, as if he was taking her own words out of her mouth.

“I’m doing fine, I own a tech company.” He smiled.

“Well, I own a company as well.”

“How did that happen?” She laughed a bit.

“Well my father started a company shortly after we graduated. Queen Inc.” He took a sip of his coffee.

“You own that? I just read that someone else was leading it? I assumed your family had nothing to do with it…”

“No, well my father died four years ago.”

“I’m so sorry… God…”

“It’s fine. Well, at the time I was stranded on an island. Spent five years there actually.”

“Oh God. I heard something about that, but I never saw a name.”

“You don’t keep track of much news, do you?” He laughed.

“I do! It’s just that I’ve been away from Starling for a long time now.” They continued talking all day. Later they went out for dinner, and spent the day together.

If it was true in Oliver’s letter about people changing completely after 7 years, he’d definitely completely changed twice since the last time they spoke. He was a completely different man, talking like he had been on all of these grand adventures. The boy he was back then, she could never fall in love with him over all those years. He could only ever love her when they were kids, but never love truly later. But the man he had become now, she didn’t know how it was possible, but she fell in love with him in just that day.

And then at the end, she got what she had been waiting for since the day he fell from the tree outside her window. He leant in and kissed her on the lips. The electricity between them making her feel like she never did before. The soft kiss felt like it lasted forever, and perhaps it did.  And boy, was it worth the wait.

And so it became true, that she was the first and last girl he kissed. And she was the first and last girl he ever loved.


End file.
